Women are often the ones who are nurturing and give support to others. Learning how to ask others for support can feel like it is against your very nature. However, in recovery, you will likely need all the support you can get. Learning the art of asking for support can make a significant difference in being able to manage your recovery and prevent relapse.
Step Into Treatment and Out of Your Comfort Zone
Clearly, making a choice to seek treatment for substance use disorder is a life-changing one. Beginning from detox and moving forward, you will be stepping out of your comfort zone. For women who are used to helping and supporting others, asking others for help can be uncomfortable in the beginning.
Something else that should become clear immediately is that healing from addiction is not something you can do on your own. You are going to need all of the help you can get. Asking for help can make you feel out of your comfort zone right away, but that can change. Learning to seek and be willing to receive help may be more frightening for some people than some of the tangible things that they are actually afraid of.
Asking for Support From Others Is Okay
Some women are under the impression that they should not or cannot ask others for help. This is entirely untrue. Everyone needs a helping hand at some point. After all, you have likely been the one to help others your whole life. Why would it be okay for others to ask for help but not for you?
Leaning on and supporting each other is a part of the shared human experience. That experience should not be one-sided but rather should be a mutual give-and-take. While this may be new for someone who has always supported everyone else, it can actually feel good to be on the receiving end of support. Asking for support from others is not only okay; it can be a positive experience for you and the person offering support.
Other People Want to Help You in Recovery
Something you may not have considered is that other people want to help you recover. Some people find joy in helping others. Some of them may even be people in your life that you have been supporting who want to give back to you. When you are willing to ask for support, you allow others to fulfill their desires, as well.
Many people in the recovery community want to give back after they have been through treatment and are in recovery. Supporting one another is actually a tenet of many recovery programs. For example, in 12-Step programs, you will have a sponsor who will help guide you through each of the 12-steps and who will help you along your path through early recovery. In support meetings, there are opportunities to give back and be involved as well. For every person in recovery who needs help, there are always plenty of others who are anxious to help that person succeed in their recovery.
Learning How to Ask for Support
There are many different ways you can ask for support. You simply need to express your needs and ask. You may often need someone to listen or help you get through a rough day or moment. You may also find that asking people for support can help prevent some difficult moments. Some of the ways you can ask for support in advance include:
- Find a good sponsor
- Maintain appointments with your therapist
- Have one or more exercise buddies to help you keep your routines
- Have a sober friend at work to support you at work lunches or dinners
- Find a meeting buddy to help you attend meetings regularly
- Network to find sober friends to keep you busy on evenings and weekends
Who Can You Ask for Support in Recovery?
You should make plans now to have a support network. You can call on these people at any time, whether you need emotional support, a hug, someone to hang out with, or whatever. You can always add to this list; the more support you have available in a moment of crisis, the better. People you can ask for support include:
- Family
- Friends
- Coworkers
- Neighbors
- Peers in recovery
- Fellow church members
- Other people in your life
You may not even need to tell everyone you are in recovery, let alone tell them your life story. The most important aspect of the art of support is to stay connected with other people and simply communicate with them about your needs so that you can prevent relapse.
The art of asking for support is to learn that it is okay for a woman to ask for support. Women often give support, but in recovery, you need to learn to allow others the opportunity to support you, too. Creating a support network and learning to ask for support will strengthen your recovery and help prevent relapse. The Ho Tai Way – Recovery For Women enables you to build a support network and learn the art of asking for support. Our detox and residential treatment center for women with addiction is a calm, peaceful haven for women to find healing. Located in sunny Southern California, we offer trauma-informed care and both evidence-based and complementary treatments to create a truly individualized treatment plan for you. How can we help you create your own support network? Call us today at (714) 881-8931.
