When you hear the word “relationship,” you may immediately think of a romantic relationship. Everyone needs to be loved, and finding a partner to love and spend your life with is innate for most women. However, one relationship is even more important than any relationship you will ever have. Before you can effectively love someone else, you need to love yourself.
How Can I Learn to Love Myself?
If you are like most people, you have probably never thought about your relationship with yourself. As a child, you came into the world without judgment, shame, or guilt. As children grow, they experience both triumphs and shameful experiences. It is human nature to perseverate upon guilt and judge yourself harshly, even if others see you as successful.
Gradually, you may lose sight of your achievements and strengths, and negative thinking sets in. You do not accept the praise and love others give you; you only notice your guilt and flaws. When you only focus on the negative aspects of your life, that is how you will see yourself. In order to learn to love yourself, you need to know to accept yourself for who you are. You need to see both your strengths and your weaknesses and acknowledge the love and appreciation others have for you while you are willing to make changes to improve yourself.
Can Someone With Addiction Ever Find Self-Love?
Substance abuse creates more negative thinking and more guilt and shame. The way you behave during addiction does not always match your core beliefs. Your core beliefs are your set of moral guidelines, the beliefs about how you should live your life. When your actions do not align with these beliefs, guilt and shame build until you believe you have no worth.
The stigma surrounding addiction does not help counteract negative judgments about yourself. Society has long applied its moral judgment regarding people with addiction, not understanding that it is a physiological condition. The outward display of judgment makes it even more challenging to love yourself.
Forgiveness: Learning to Show Yourself Mercy
One of the most important steps to finding self-love is learning to forgive yourself. You may be willing to forgive others in your life, to look past their faults and the ways they have hurt you. Why can you not also apply this same forgiveness to yourself?
Being willing to show yourself this same mercy is the key to healing the self-inflicted emotional wounds that have prevented you from loving yourself. Accepting yourself for who you are, including both strengths and weaknesses, is the key to forgiving yourself for the judgments of others and allowing your own beliefs about yourself to overcome criticism from both yourself and others.
The Importance of Healing Through Recovery
Forgiving yourself becomes even more challenging when you are in active addiction. Continuing the behaviors that defy your core beliefs makes self-acceptance feel impossible to achieve. Becoming clean and sober is essential to facilitate self-acceptance.
Seeking treatment for your substance abuse will give you the tools you need to find acceptance. By achieving abstinence from drugs or alcohol, you have more control over your behaviors and are more likely to define your core beliefs and live them. As you begin to discover yourself once again and all of the things that make you unique, you can heal physically, emotionally, and spiritually. The heart of the recovery process is finding acceptance and self-love through healing.
Why Does Self-Love Come Before Romantic Relationships?
Before you can truly love others, you must be willing to love and accept yourself. This is particularly true in romantic relationships. Learning to apply acceptance and remove judgment from your own life will allow you to use those same principles with others. As you accept and love yourself and others without judgment, you can truly develop a deep love that will be lasting and overcome the obstacles that come with romantic relationships.
Learning to love yourself will improve your own life and your current or future relationships. You will have a better understanding of the kind of person you want to be with and avoid toxic or abusive relationships. You will naturally gravitate toward those who will reflect that same love for themselves and will be able to offer you love. Self-acceptance also allows you to develop a love for yourself that endures the test of time and does not even require another person to thrive. Loving yourself is the most important relationship you will ever have.
Learning to love yourself is the most critical relationship in your life because it allows you to forgive and accept yourself the way you are. This promotes healing from addiction and a love that will help you build a lasting recovery. Self-love also allows you to be happy on your own or to improve your current or future relationships. Learning to love yourself is at the heart of the treatment process at The Ho Tai Way – Recovery For Women. Our residential program is focused on treating drug and alcohol addiction through self-discovery, acceptance, and self-love. Using the principles of prosperity, wealth, joy, and abundance, we can help you heal and develop a lasting recovery. Our facility is located between the lovely mountains and refreshing beaches in Costa Mesa, California, a perfect environment to begin your healing. Contact us at (714) 581-3974 to find out how to start your journey to finding self-love.